Sunday, August 30, 2009

Worth Mentioning ....

New online fashion boutique, tawa fate7...



www.shabby-chique.com

Sunday, March 22, 2009

30: Undeniable Truths Hurt

It has come to my attention that some people (especially Jam3iya) are still za3laneen 3alay fa gelt ba7e6likom this short post 3ashan aratheeekom...did it work?!

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Zeina didn’t know how long she had been in the balcony but the only thing that brought her back to reality was the clicking of the front door as it shut behind Manaf. She froze not knowing what to do, the news she had received a while ago still hadn’t registered with her and she still hadn’t thought of what to do or what to say to him.

“Zeina?” Manaf’s voice called out to her from the bedroom where he had gone to look for her. Zeina emerged from the balcony still in her pajamas, her hair a mess and looked at her husband. His tall stature, his broad chest, his much shorter hair…she stared at his eyes trying to look for the man she once knew. The same man that had swept her off of her feet that day at the university when she had accidently stumbled upon him. The same man that held her hand while they dropped from the highest point Zeina had ever been on. He didn’t seem to be there.

Replacing him was a man with dark circles under his eyes that Zeina had thought once to be from all the work but wasn’t sure anymore. The new man in front of Zeina looked over her very much unlike the old one, it was as if he acknowledged her body and face in front of him but didn’t stare too long at it enough to let them register in his mind. He swept through her and her words quite often now and Zeina was beginning to understand why. Her husband, her Manaf, had a secret; one that was bound to reveal itself if he looked at her for too long, if he hugged her too tightly, if he spoke to hear more regularly.

Manaf was pushing himself away from her in order to hide.

“Ah there you are” Manaf said finally noticing her walking in from the balcony, “fakartay sheno tabeen ghada?” He asked flipping through papers in his hand a wrinkle forming on his forehead. The same wrinkle Zeina had seen a million times since she had arrived in New York but had always blamed on work. Zeina didn’t speak as she stood there staring at him wondering what the right words to say were.

“Shfeech?” Manaf asked putting down the papers and staring at her with worry in his eyes. Tears formed at the corners of Zeina’s eyes but she held them back.

“Tell me.” She whispered.

Manaf’s face fell as he took in the seriousness of Zeina’s expression; he knew she was talking about something solemn.

“Tell you what?” He tried feebly, still holding on to the glimmer of hope that Zeina hadn’t found out.

“…What the doctor said” She continued. It was here that Manaf’s gaze fell to the floor and for the next several minutes refused to look up. Zeina took a step forward and stood inches from his face.

“Manaf…look at me! And tell me!” She snapped at him her voice refusing to quiver.

“Shlon 3araftay?” He asked her.

“Not by you…”

Manaf continued to be quiet for a few seconds before he gave Zeina his back and walked into the bedroom. Dumbfounded Zeina froze in her spot not knowing if she should follow him or not. Finally her feet began to work and they made their way into the bedroom but Manaf wasn’t there; looking around she heard the sound of the showerhead in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him, a sea of emotions crashing inside of her. She still hadn’t managed to distinguish what the strongest emotion inside of her was. Was it anger? Hurt? Or was it mind blowing, earth shattering fear?

Was she going to be left alone, without Manaf? A world with a crabby, stressed, busy Manaf was one that was a million times better than one without him completely. It was a thought she was not willing to explore just yet because she knew that once she began to consider this world, she would enter a dark abyss that she was not likely to ever escape.

Minutes later Manaf came out of the bathroom and slightly taken aback by Zeina’s position sitting firmly and stubbornly in front of him, he froze.

“Meta kent nawi etgooly?” She whispered.

“I just found out Zeina” He replied.

“Shlon ya3ni? Eshdarak? Shlon mata7acha?!” Her voice began to rise uncontrollably. Manaf walked towards her and sat down next to her on the bed and for the first time in weeks stared right at her and held her gaze unwaveringly.

“I couldn’t tell you” He whispered still not looking away.

“What? Why?” Her strong calm voice began quivering as the tears that would undoubtedly make their way began to form behind her eyes.

“Shagoolich? Khalaitich etwagfeen derastich, sa7abtich min ahalich, ga6aitich ib deera ibroo7ich, majabaltich wela 7atan shift ishlonich feeha, o akher shay ayeech wagoolich I might be dying o because of me ra7 et9eereen a widow?!”

“DON’T SAY THAT” Zeina screamed the tears, this time of anger, flowed freely… “you can’t say that!” She whimpered grabbing his arm.

“Zeina 7abeebti…” he began to speak then stopped and looked down, taking her hands off of his arm and kissing them gently. He then looked back up for a brief second, enough for Zeina to see the tears forming inside his eyes, then got up and in two swift strides walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Zeina marched after him violently wiping the tears that were pouring across her face. She caught up with Manaf on the balcony and stared at him as he gave her his back.

“Manaf it’s not that bad 9a7? People get cured all the time…a9lan 9ar shay 3adi…we shouldn’t even worry” Zeina rambled half to fill the silence and the other half to convince herself.

“You’re right. Eli Allah katba be9eer Zeina whether I’m sick or not..” He turned around, the tears now gone from his eyes. He walked up to Zeina and grabbed her firmly from her face, “Zayoon, I am so sorry you had to deal with this o inich you got stuck with insan mithli ana…bes atkhayal il ta3ab ili I already put you through at the possibility of putting you through more and it kills me wala!”

Suddenly all the tears that had been forming in Zeina’s eyes disappeared as a wave of anger washed over her, “enta ma geltli 3ashan 3abalik I can’t handle it?” She said slowly, “3abalik when I find out banhar o babchi o ra7 at3ab?” Her voice slowly began to rise, “la, don’t you dare let me take the easy way out. Ra7 etwareeni every single test you did o ra7 aroo7 ma3ak every single appointment you have o you’re going to fight this, because qa9bin 3alaik you get better! Fahem?!” Her voice had risen to screams at the end of her sentence and she realized that she was holding on to Manaf with all of her strength.

“Enshallah” Manaf whispered before kissing her forehead.

He led Zeina inside and sat her down on the couch before going into the bedroom and coming back out with a stack of folders and envelopes.

“f7oo9atik?” Zeina asked quietly, her heart beating severely.

Manaf nodded and sat down next to her extending his arm towards her. Just as Zeina grasped the folders and pulled them into her lap Manaf’s hand touched hers and she looked up.

“Zayoon. Please help me” He whispered.

Friday, March 20, 2009

29: New York, New York!

Awal shay i'm REALLY sorry for not updating in a long time, wayed minkom waited so patiently for me and I really appreciate it. I've had a long month with loads of stuff to do mixed with severe writers block. I hope you enjoy the new post o enshallah ma7ad feekom za3lan wayed lol ;p


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Zeina smiled politely at the doorman as she followed Manaf into their apartment building; she took in the unfamiliar furniture and all the colors of the walls; Manaf greeted a man at the front desk and took some keys from him before he leaned back and put his arms around Zeina.

He led her to a set of elevators where once on, he pressed the button for 23 and tightened his grip on her waist. Zeina hadn’t said a word to him since landing in New York, she was too busy trying to comprehend the idea that she was coming to live and not to visit. She was also quiet for fear that if she opened her mouth words of how much she already missed her mother would pour out followed undoubtedly by a river of tears.

The elevator doors opened up and Manaf half dragged Zeina out into the hallway and towards an apartment door that had the numbers 1204 in gold lettering in the middle. He pushed the keys in and slid the door open for her, “welcome home 7abeebti” he whispered waiting for her to walk in. Zeina took a hesitant step inside and began reviewing the room in front of her; it was a small living room, to her side was a small kitchen and a large hallway appeared to her left. Following it, Zeina found herself standing at the door of the main and only bedroom.

“Ta3alay shofay il view” Manaf’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she made her way back to the living room. Once outside with Manaf, she looked the city lights that were lighting up the dark skies and she found herself breathless.

“Bard..” She giggled snuggling up to him.

“Ee 3abalich ga3da bilk wait intay?” He teased her rubbing her arms with his hands to warm her up.

“We should unpack..” She told him, still unable to remove her eyes from the view.

“Ne6reeni..!” he joked, not budging and tightening his grip on her so that she too could not budge.

“Meta your first day?” Zeina asked him pulling him back inside from the cold breeze, and throwing herself on the couch.

“Bacher I go in 3ashan they show me around..”

“waaay .. wana shasawii ihnee ibroo7i?” She whined

“You shop?” He raised an eyebrow at her reaching into his pocket and taking out a credit card and waving it in front of her.

“Laa mu min9ijik!” Zeina laughed reaching in to grab it

“Kelshay be7dooda, you’ve heard that saying right 3omri?” He smiled at her as she plucked the card from his fingers.

“Nope, never. What does that mean?” She asked innocently. His smile was immediately wiped off of his face as she got up and skipped to their bedroom, leaving him to mentally calculate the amount of debt his new wife was most likely going to put him in.

That night Zeina slept soundly as she thought of the months to come that would be spent alone with Manaf and the hundreds of clothing stores around the states and when she awoke the next day she was saddened to see that her husband had already left for work. She grabbed her mobile and flipped through the text messages she had received over the night; one of them was from Manaf: 9aba7 el khair 3omri, didn’t want to wake you…I’m on my way to work see you at five! Love you.

FIVE?! Zeina wanted to scream as she remembered that working hours in the states weren’t like Kuwait… 2 o’clock in the afternoon was barely mid-workday for them over here, while in Kuwait it was almost after-hours! Realizing she had another six hours to waste before Manaf would be home, she began taking her time getting ready before hitting the Manhattan streets.

Zeina realized as the hours passed slowly that if she was to spend every day wandering the streets alone then the upcoming six months were going to be the longest of her life and after the third hour of aimless wandering she began fighting the urge to call her mother and burst into tears. Manaf had only managed to call her for a few minutes to check on her before she overheard some guys calling him into a meeting and he hurried off the phone. She knew she couldn’t tell him about how hard her day has been because he hardly needed the pressure right now.

Eventually, like a lifetime later, five o’clock loomed in and Zeina hurriedly got into a cab and made her way back to the apartment building, or what she should start calling home. She was barely out of her outfit and into her casual home attire before Manaf’s key was heard at the front door.

“Manooof!” Zeina squealed rushing up to him and hugging him.

“7abeeebti entay…hi!” He chuckled, giving her a kiss on her head, before making his way to the bedroom…”how was your day?”

“Not important! How was yours? Do you like your job? Are the people nice? Are they overworking you?”

“Shway shway …! Kelshay tamam, lots of work, bes inshallah it won’t be a problem” He smiled at her untying his tie and pulling it over his head. “Ta3baaaan” He muttered throwing himself on the bed.

“Aww..7ayati! Did you eat? Want me to make you something?” She offered sitting down beside him.

“La mashkoora, I ate at the office..bes abi I lie down shwaya” He began taking off his shoes and made his way to the bathroom to wash up. Zeina left him to it and went to the living room to flip through the television while he changed. Twenty minutes later she realized that he had not joined her and so she went looking for him, only to find him passed out asleep on the bed. Feeling sorry for him, and a little lonely, she turned off the lights and went back to watching TV alone.

The rest of the week went pretty much the same way; Manaf would leave for work before she woke up, and come back too exhausted to even mutter a sentence before passing out. He’d wake up early into the night and finish up some work, but only after he gave an hour of his time listening to Zeina’s day, which consisted of nothing but shopping since she had nothing else to do. She vowed to not sound whiney and dependant and that she would give herself time to make friends and get herself involved with different things to preoccupy her time and so she decided to avoid telling Manaf just how unhappy she had been their first week there.

---

“Zeina mama it’s only been a month…ne6ray 3alaih 7abeebti, akeed karfeena bil dawam o ta3ban!” Zeina’s mother spoke calmly onto the phone. A month had passed since they had first gotten to New York and Zeina had finally cracked and broke down, telling her mother everything.

“La mama matadreen, metghayer, 9ayer 3a9abi o mala khilgy o maykalemni kelish” Zeina choked onto the phone, she felt guilty at the pit of her stomach knowing that she was causing her mother pain by letting her hear her crying so uncontrollably. “9ar ma3inda ila ygooli entay matadree eshkither ana 3alay thaq6…o etha 9ar 3inda break law yoom, mayabi esawii shay bes yabi inam o ejabel il tv wela 7atan yfaker ina ana maqmoota o ma a6la3 min il sheqa wayed!”

“7abeebti calm down…intay al7ean met’thayga o eb3eeda 3an deertich o ahalich fa you feel alone…” Her mother began attempting to calm her down with her words of wisdom but she was interrupted by the front door slamming shut. Manaf had come home unexpectedly early. “akalmich mama” Zeina whispered into the phone as she hid her tear streaked face from him. He had not yet seen the tears she had shed during the month and she didn’t know what his reaction would be like.

“Eshfeech?” He asked not coming any closer. His face was tired and impatient and Zeina didn’t feel like hearing words that would hurt her from him.

“Wela shay…kent ga3da akalem omy” She muttered lowering her gaze in an attempt to avoid his eyes.

“Enzain.” He muttered and walked into the room. His indifference sent another trail of tears down her cheeks as she stepped out to the balcony to wipe them off. Just like every other day, Manaf went straight to bed after work and Zeina was left to watch TV by herself. Deciding not to sulk alone at the apartment she headed out and to the nearest bookstore to browse and keep herself occupied. Every few minutes she’d check her phone, one to see what time it was, and two to check if Manaf had called to ask about her. He didn’t.

When she got home she saw that Manaf too had gone out, and without even texting her to inform her. Not knowing how to react she made herself some dinner before crawling into bed and between tear streaked sobs she somehow managed to fall asleep. A voice however woke her up not soon after she had dozed off “Zayoon 7abeebti?” Manaf whispered into her ear.

“Na3am?” She asked turning to face him, half confused half worried. “Shfeek?”

“I want to apologize 7abeebti. I know you’re sad o adry 9ayer 7aywan. I have an explanation bes magdar agoolich..” He said looking away.

“Well then, that makes it all better” She replied sarcastically giving him her back and trying to go back to sleep.

“Zayoon 3omri… latez3ileen 3alay” He leaned in closer but she didn’t budge.

“Shoof shlon you’ve been treating me o gooly laish ma az3al” She whispered back, the tears were making their way back to her eyes and she didn’t want to have another break down.

“Enshallah soon ra7 yetghayar kelshay o everything will become better. Wala Zayoon I promise.”

“Ok.” She muttered.

“Adry mu im9adgatni…bes you’ll see. Wa3ad” He kissed her arm and snuggled to her back, but Zeina made no attempt to get closer to him.

“You know..” She whispered, her voice choking slightly…”you’re not the Manaf I knew.”

And with that they went to sleep.

The next day Zeina woke up to see Manaf getting dressed, “Wain raye7?” She asked him in a cold tone.

“El maktab” He whispered back not looking at her.

“It’s a weekend” Pretending to remind him.

“Adry, bes yabooni akhali9 shay ibser3a..I shouldn’t be more than an hour” He leaned in to kiss her forehead but she pulled away. His face fell with disappointment but he didn’t say anything; slowly he turned away and walked out. Zeina glanced at the bedside clock, it was 11 am “Esh3inda edawem at 11 during the weekend?” She muttered angrily to herself before making her way to the bathroom. Just as she shut the door the apartment phone began to ring; hoping it was her mother Zeina rushed out of the bathroom to pick it up.

“Alo?” She spoke breathlessly into the phone.

“Hi, is this Mr. Manaf Al Flani’s residence?” An American man spoke back.

“Umm yes, this is his wife can I help you?” Zeina replied taken aback, it was unusual for someone from Manaf’s workplace to call the apartment number.

“Yes this is Michael from Doctor Millers office…please remind him that he has an appointment with Doctor Miller in half an hour and not to be late.”

“He has a what? Are you sure?” she replied confused

“Yes Ma’am, he scheduled it two weeks ago. We have all his reports we’re ready to fit him in for testing today.”

“What kind of Doctor is he?” She muttered, beginning to panic.

“Doctor Miller is one of the most esteemed Oncologists in the country ma’am and he runs one of New York’s handful of top Cancer Clinics! You’re husband is in good hands”

Zeina got off the phone, her hand shaking too severely for her to place it back on the handset properly.

She quickly stumbled to the balcony for fresh air as her head began to cloud with dizziness.

Friday, January 23, 2009

28: A Decision to Make ..

Zeina rolled to her side for the hundredth time in her bed, she had just hung up from her regular hour long phone call with Manaf; he had gone back to Ma9er to finish up whatever he had left and had been calling her every night at 11pm on the dot. The velvet box with her engagement ring lay next to her propped open and tilted so that the top of the diamond faced her. Every few minutes she’d place it on her finger then after examining it would put it back inside the box. As the minutes past she slowly began to drift off only to be visited by Manaf in her dreams.

The next two months passed by like they were happening overnight and soon enough Zeina was saying goodnight one last time to Manaf in Egypt. He came back to Kuwait and within two weeks he began working at one of his uncle’s law firms. Zeina’s phone would still ring every night at 11pm, the only difference was that their phone calls now lasted a little longer than before; Manaf would tell her all about his new cases and how different work life was from university and Zeina would complain about all the work she had to finish for her classes. It was a period of steady bliss and Zeina began to feel comfortable as they created their own routine and fell perfectly into it.

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“Zeina entay met2akda inich tabeena?” Zeina’s mother asked for the hundredth time as Zeina sat next to her openly texting Manaf. Manaf’s relatives had contacted Zeina’s mother a little less than two weeks earlier and had requested a chance to sit with her and her mother. Zeina’s mother’s first reaction was to call it off before anything even happened but after Zeina’s insistence it became clear to her that there was something going on between them and that her daughter had made her mind up long ago. After the first visit and a few more phone calls the men gathered for the official visit and soon enough their engagement was announced to the world. The first few days Zeina’s phone hadn’t stopped ringing with congratulations and desperate attempts of information digging but Zeina was too busy floating on clouds to care what people were thinking or saying.

“Ee youma abeeh” Zeina replied to her mother trying as best as she could not to reveal the childish smile she had on her face. Her mother sighed grinning at her daughter and got up to look for something in the kitchen. Zeina took the opportunity to quickly call Manaf up, a few seconds later she disappointedly hung up; he hadn’t replied.

Two hours later Zeina glanced at the clock on her mobile, Manaf usually called her right after he got out of work which was a little over an hour ago, sensing something was wrong she tried again; he didn’t reply this time either. Starting to feel a bit worried she texted him and waited impatiently for a reply. None came.

A little over four hours later, as the sun began to set, Zeina’s phone rang and Manaf’s name filled the screen.

“Alo?” She almost shouted into the phone.

“Abee ashoofich” He immediately stated his voice rushed and serious

“Umm..Okay…” she replied slowly caught off guard.

“Wainich?” He asked

“Bel bait, come over etha taby” A knot began forming at the pit of Zeina’s stomach as she began to panic, this tone of voice would put any engaged woman in a fit of fear. The last thing a bride needs was an angry fiancĂ© in the few months leading up to their wedding.

“Ahalich mawjoodeen?” He asked, he was practically spitting the words out at this point.

“Ee mawjodeen..”

“Khosh 3a6eehom khabar, wana al7ean bel 6ireej..” and with that hung up. Trying to wipe the worried expression off of her face Zeina began walking around the house looking for her mother.

“Youma, Manaf bemor shwaya okay?” She asked when she found her mother arranging vases in another living room in the house.

“Ee 7abeebty akeed 7ayahh Allah…” her mother said looking up, “bes badlay” she said giving Zeina’s house outfit a once over.

Deep in thought Zeina made her way upstairs and changed into jeans and a plain t-shirt and untied her hair, tossing it to the side. Ten minutes later her mobile rang and with a heavy heart she answered Manaf telling him to come on in. As she made her way downstairs she could hear Manaf politely saying hello to her mother, then she heard her mother tell him to wait for Zeina in the guest living room. Zeina quickly walked in and her mother excused herself to give them some privacy. Manaf stood up and gave Zeina a light kiss on the cheek. Zeina having told herself that she was exaggerating and that nothing was wrong began to realize that her initial reaction was only too accurate, Manaf was very angry and it showed. His face was darkened from what Zeina assumed was a long day at work, his hair was disheveled, his upper button of his Dishdasa was opened and he was in no way or form smiling.

“3asa ma shar Manaf, emkhare3ni” Zeina began taking a seat next to him. Manaf looked away for a few seconds then ran his palms and fingers across his face before pressing his fingers on his eyes as if he was having a bad migraine.

“Rasy ibyenfijir” He muttered still covering his eyes.

“Ayeeblik Panadol?” Zeina asked him getting up and quickly heading to the cabinet that held the Panadol, on her way back she told the maid to get them some water.

“Tefathal” Zeina said handing him the pills and the glass of water, without any response Manaf swallowed the pills down with water then leaned back in his seat.

“Ma dagaitli lama 6ala3t min il maktab” Zeina tried again gently

“Tawni 6ale3” He replied curtly. Zeina kept quiet for a few seconds giving him a chance to explain what was happening but he too remained quiet.

“Ubay Manaf, tell me shesalfa” Zeina exploded finally losing her calm.

“Tahawasht weya weld 3ami” he muttered finally still not looking at Zeina. Zeina immediately knew which cousin he was referring to, weld 3am Manaf is the son of the uncle he was working for and was also working at the same maktab. Zeina also knew from what Manaf told her that he was lazy and his father was getting sick of it, and that problems between him and Manaf had begun almost as soon as Manaf had began working for the firm. Manaf instantly became his uncle’s favorite employee, always on time and always trying his hardest, the difference between him and weld 3ama was evident from day one.

Glad that this wasn’t about her Zeina took a deep relaxing breath before gently putting her hand on his back and rubbing it.

“Sh9aar?” She asked

“gabel la agoolich abeech taw3ideeni inich mat3a9been, because I did shay yemkin may3ajbich”, the butterflies that had just disappeared from Zeina’s stomach reappeared immediately. Manaf was still not looking her in the eye.

“Gooli” She spoke up in a steady tone

“fe offer, 7ada qawii, o I really want it o ana the perfect person for it o 3ami kan misti3id ya36eeniya lain weld 3ami…” Manaf followed the mention of his cousin with a few curse words, something he had never done in front of Zeina before, “qarar ina e9eer yahel o ela qa9eb yabi il position. El mohim gam shway we6ig’ha bachya 3ind ibooh tekfa 3a6ni o ana ra7 at3adal aw3idik o madry shino, 6ab3an 7achy fathy o ma 9adag 3amii. El mohim he made a huge scene bil maktab fashalna ga3ad e9arekh 3alay o radait 9arakht 3alaih o dash baina 3ami ewagefna wel kel ekhiz. Ya3ni jad kan el wath3 efashel ma china ahal kelish…”

“Ba3ad 3omriii” Zeina cooed leaning in closer and hugging Manaf; he didn’t return her hug.

“Al7ean ana ba3ad 3omrich, ba3ad eshway bet3a9been adry. Bes wala jad Zeina mali khilg elyoom wa9el 7adii..”

“Sheli bekhaleeni a3a9eb?” She asked him hesitantly.

“3igub il scene ili 9ar…” Manaf began after a short silence, “3ami sakar 3ala nafsa il maktab ma bagha a7ad edish 3alaih. Ga3adt ib maktibi an6er lana ma 7abait amshi gabel la a3titherla…el mohim yoom 6ala3 re7tla o kan 7ail im3a9eb 3a6ani mu7athara 3ooda 3an shlon he created the firm on his own o shlon kan yetmana ina welda yagthib kelshay o shlon welda mu rathy e9eer rayal o shlon now he has to choose weld ekhooh 3ala welda lana welda be6aye7 il shareka bil ga3 … o 3a6ani kalam ya3ni el 9ara7a 7asasni ina ga3d ya36eeni akthar min welda o ina it was really hurting him. Fa gali ra7 a36eek il position lanik you fought hal kither for it…”

Manaf trailed off and kept quiet for a while, “Enzain o how does this affect me?” Zeina asked him.

“El position mu bel kwait…” He finally said.

“Wain il position?”

“New York…” He finally turned away and stared at her intently trying to read her reaction. Zeina thought about it for a second and used all the power she could muster not to squeal and jump up and down.

“That’s a bad thing?” She finally asked a broad smile on her face.

“Ee…we leave ib 5 weeks, ya3ni kelshay you’ve been planning for the wedding gets cancelled..”

“Oh..” Zeina realized suddenly. She thought of all the work her mother and aunts had been putting in for the wedding and all the money her father had already begun spending for the preparations. “Ya3ni mako 3ers?” Her voice lowered slightly with disappointment.

“Embala, etha tegdireen etzahbeen 7ag 3ers ib a month…” He said his voice not filled with optimism at all.

“Bes…Bes…” Zeina began, a million thoughts running through her head, there was no way she could plan a wedding in a month, she wasn’t sure she was willing to sacrifice a wedding for a job, and what about her derasa? For the first time since Manaf had come over she began to feel angry, “ubay Manaf, what if I don’t want to go!” She snapped, realizing the position he had put her in. “O ba3dain how long is this for?!”

“six months…” he whispered, “3igub kel ili 9ar o 3a6ani il position 3ami magdar agoola la2 Zayoon..”

“SIX MONTHS! Bes kelshay ib 7ayati ra7 yetghayar!” Her voice went a pitch higher

“agdar aroo7 ebroo7i…” he almost whispered to himself.

“Na3aaaaaaaaam? Hatha ili nage9 ba3ad!” Zeina muttered turning away with rage.

“Zeina 7abeebti I know your angry o walah il 3atheem ma aloomich ana ghabi o 7aywan o 7a6aitich ib mawqef bayekh..” He slowly got up from his seat picking up his cell phone and car keys, “o ana rasi ibyenfijir 9arli 10 sa3at bil maktab I need to sleep shwaya. Tekfain fakray bil mawthoo3 wana ra7 amor 3alaich bacher il 9ib7 entifaham some more. Please lat3a9been 3alay 7abeebti..” and with that he kissed her forehead and headed out of the door. Zeina remained in her seat, she listened as Manaf said goodbye to her mother assuring her that nothing was wrong, she then heard the front door shut and finally she heard the machine of his car come to life outside.