Thursday, December 18, 2008

22

Zeina tugged at the sleeve of her black 3abaya, staring intently at her colorless nails and the wad of stuffed tissue between her fingers. She refused to raise her head up, refused to let her eyes look at the mourning women around her. She focused all her thoughts on counting the breaths that were coming out of her constrained chest. The air hurt her deeply as it moved up through her swollen lungs and out of her reddened nose, and she swallowed deeply as the next gust of air made its way down her throat. She had spent the night before screaming hysterically, so much that she couldn’t speak now, even if by any miracle she had finally found something to say.

Her hands were no longer part of her body as they fidgeted by themselves playing with the crumpled up moist tissue, moving it from one hand to the other, then tearing it into smaller pieces. Her eyes, in fear of meeting the gaze of one particular person, managed to remain focused downward and blurred to the extent that she could barely make out the shape of her hands or their color. Her feet, like concrete, surrendered themselves leaving only the chair she was sitting on to hold her up. And her heart…her heart pounded softly inside her chest; but every few minutes, Zeina would remember the image or the voice of the person she would no longer see again, and it would stop beating for what to Zeina felt like an eternity, instead it began to stretch itself until it felt like it was beginning to tear right through the middle. It was during these moments that Zeina using whatever power she had left would stifle a scream of agony. It was the repeated tearing of her heart that had kept her up all night.

A hand touched Zeina’s arm then found its way to her waist raising her up slowly from her seat.

“Goomay 7abeebti” A voice spoke at her side, Zeina continued looking down as she was dragged towards a woman, a woman who maybe was one of a handful that was in more misery than Zeina. She didn’t look up as she gasped for breath between cries. She would raise a hand holding a tissue in it and would spread it across her face wiping her eyes and nose but in no way reducing the tears, as more poured down to replace them.

Zeina bent down to kissed the older woman’s forehead shaking as she tried to gain control of herself. As they made their way out of the crowded room a young woman made her way towards them. Her face registered more shock and confusion than anyone in the room; it was as if she was horrified by the people around her and was about to make a run for it. She hugged Zeina tightly and Zeina heard her let out a sob as she reached for her hand and pulled her into another room. Zeina, who was unable to force her body to do anything let herself be dragged wherever the woman wanted her to be. Once in the other room the woman bent her beautiful face down and began to cry openly as she bent down to pick up a large black bag. She lifted it up hugging it tightly, more cries escaping her and pushed it against Zeina’s body. Zeina hugged it back feebly still not meeting the woman’s gaze.

The same arm as before put itself around Zeina and led her outside to a parked car; the door was opened for her and she was pushed slightly into the seat. She sat there motionless; the bag unopened her in lap. Zeina had no idea how long the car ride had been, she had no idea what time it was or what she was wearing underneath her black envelope of death. Once the car had come to a stop, the arm came out and guided her back inside; Zeina hugged the bag to her chest as she made her way upstairs to her bedroom.

Sliding the door opened she looked inside, things were thrown everywhere, things she had broken in her hysteria from the night before were moved and the bed was somewhat made. Her mother finally let down her arm and tried to look at her daughter’s face but Zeina concealed it turning away. She knew that if her mother saw her face she would start to cry and that was a sound Zeina could not hear right now. She walked to the edge of the bed and sat on it, staring down and hugging the bag rocking slowly.

She heard a soft click as the door of her bedroom was shut leaving her alone in the dark. Sliding off of the edge and onto the floor she began opening the bag slowly pulling the first thing out of it.

It was Faisal’s University of San Francisco sweater; it was what he would wear whenever he had a big business meeting to prepare for, he had said that it reminded him of his university years when he crammed for exams. Zeina stared down at the gray piece of clothing, running her fingers over the letters. She lay it down slowly onto her lap and looked deeper into the bag pulling out a large envelope, ripping the top off she poured its contents out on top of the sweater; dozens of small pictures of her and Faisal scattered over it. They included some of the few pictures Zeina and Fai9al had taken together along with some of him by himself. She refused to look at any of them directly and began to push them aside reaching her hand back into the bag. She touched nothing but air realizing slowly that the bag was empty.

All she had left from Fai9al were the things scattered around her. She slowly reached for her mobile and began dialing a number and within seconds she heard it ring, “Hi it’s Fai9al, I’m not in the office right now, please leave a message…” The machine in his office spoke to her.

This was how she would hear his voice for the very last time.

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

aaaahhhhhh

shakshaka said...

waaay 3awartay galbii!:S

bas 3aa golat;hum kil moshkila tabdi sgheera w tikbar ila il moot tabdi ikbeera wo tisghar:S

sa said...

omg:( ya raabi it3awir il galb:s how did he die??:( whyy :( shes gona feel so guilty now maskeeena:(

Anonymous said...

Omgggggggggg
Kamlay please

Lulu said...

I love your blog! Your story is really good! I can't believe he died, maskeena Zayoon!

Anonymous said...

abaih poor zayoooooon :(
I LOVE YOUR STORY <3
Take care :*
-Munera :)

Zaina said...

wa3alaya :(
plz plz post sooooon !

Ashwanha she has manaf now. if she didn't, it would've been so much harder for her.

Jam3iiya(L) said...

hmm.. shagoolich?

the writing in this post was phenomenal, seriously, 3ajeb!

bas the whole faisal died thing i honestly dont like! ; (

Bas the post kan 3ajjjeeeeeeeeb! mashalla mashalla MASHAAAAALAAAAAA! kil post a7la min ilthanii ;***

Anonymous said...

I'm tearing. Did this really happen in real life?

BOnita_LuLu said...

OMG You Made me CRy ;"(..abaaaaaaaaaaay seriously amazing i love Ur blog :***...

the zuz said...

:'( allah yer7emaa, poor zeina:(. write more:( the post is so short:(

Um-Manaf said...

anon: hehe

shakshaka: bsmila 3ala galbich ;* ee ur right ;p

sa: more to come on that soon ;p

anon: enshallaaah

lulu: thank u sweety

Munera: thank yooooou

Zaina: ee wala Manoof il munqith ..

Jam3iya: ur phenomenal ;** I'm sorry u didn't like the way the story went tho

Anon: nooo it's fictional

Bonita: aww...i'm glad u enjoyed it

the zuz: adry it was ... bes i felt that in this case less would be more ;)

JooRi said...

umbaai!! umbaaai 3aweraaaaaaaaat gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalbi!!

Um Mit3ib said...

ok fine iksirat kha6re;p

inzain bima ina the post was really short, lazem u post another one today;p

Anonymous said...

omg this post made me cry! ;/

Anonymous said...

waaaaaih mskeena ;\
o manaf sh9aar 3alaaih?
i miss him already :P

Charmbracelet said...

7araaaaammm!!!=| its a short post though=p
-N~

desertpalms said...

='(

3ajeeeeb

Um-Manaf said...

joori: salaaamat galbich ;*

um mit3ib: bes eksarat kha6rich?! :P

anon: awwww

anon2: Manaf mawjood mawjoood...

Charmb: adryy it is bes im uninspired right now :/

desertpalms: u ili 3ajeeb !

JIM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sugar said...

it3awer il galb! i think ina she is inlove with manaf bss layl7een not over faisal aw she was over oo this was all a SHOCK!!! inzain yalla please part 23~!!! oo laish ma 7a6aytay title mathalan 22:the funeral aw eli ohwa?!

sugar said...

it3awer il galb! i think ina she is inlove with manaf bss layl7een not over faisal aw she was over oo this was all a SHOCK!!! inzain yalla please part 23~!!! oo laish ma 7a6aytay title mathalan 22:the funeral aw eli ohwa?!

Music, Happiness, Love said...

i just started reading ur blog
im on part 16 now! its amaozing, gonna continue wen i get home!

Anonymous said...

PART 23 ASAP Allah e3afeech!
abaih Bachitini !

Anonymous said...

This part was mesmerizing! You kept me own my toes the whole time.. It was very describable, 7asait ini ma3aha somehow. I agree its short but too good;* ya3ni i coudnt write chethi. Wallah i read it in the perfect timing and perfect place:* I JUST LOVE IT<3

-Queen Bee.

Silhouette Crime said...

i started reading the blog today, and im desperate for part 23


xo xo sc

Jam3iiya(L) said...

mako new post today?

Um-Manaf said...

thanks everyone...new post around 1 tonight

Zaina said...

haaa aku post ilyom?:P

Music, Happiness, Love said...

ommgg im heart broken
seriously! keep it up mashalla ur such a good writer

Music, Happiness, Love said...

btw its past 1,dont see a new post;p

Anonymous said...

its past 1!!! Where is the new post!

Anonymous said...

does this mean we get 2 posts tomorrow :$:$:$:$

Anonymous said...

last part was soo P.s. i love you lol

zuz said...

um manaf em6awla el'3aiba!! waineechhhh!!nby new post;*

ruby red said...

tawni akhali9 kil il parts :D .. yala meta il new post ?;s

Um Mit3ib said...

mo 3ib itchathbeeen wetgolen new part at 1 we7na kilina na6reen w ma nemna? HAA ????? MO 3AIB?

Anonymous said...

its been 2 days !
are you on a break ?
i keep refreshing this page over and over again in hope of having 23 hehe this is how desperate we are :p

Anonymous said...

iiiiffff! how much longer are we going to have to wait! u said 1!!! :@

Anonymous said...

Seriously YALAAA !! i cant wait more ;(

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

la2
la2 la2 la2

ayshay!

la2 may9eer chithy!

ayshay!

ma7ebich! laish tethb7eena! =(

**STOMPS OUT OF BLOG IN TEARS AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HER**

Anonymous said...

I Keep Refreshing 2!
I Wanna See Number 23 :(
im sick of reading "her black 3abaya" over and over again
Please Yaallaa :((

Um Fawaz said...

I like the way u kept us on edge ib the first 2 paragraphs! 3abalii it was going to be Sara..Ok im not trying to sound heartless, bs im glad it was Fai9al.
I know miskena its hard for her bs she'll get over it o he was kinda holding her back...on the bright side atleast he didnt die knowing ina she rejected him 9a7?;p
bs mafahamt laish her mom is as mournful as she is?

Um Mit3ib said...

inzain tara ana ta3abt wana an6er
wala ta3abt

shtiswa 3alaich atraba3 wasee7 3alaich now ?

update tikfain ;p

Anonymous said...

Please Naby Post Tekfayn! Been Very Long!

Anonymous said...

Post post post, 9arlina DAHAAAAR nan6ir! plz asraa3! may9er chithi, u drop a bomb and leave us hanging!

zainab said...

yalaaaaaaaa im waiting all the way in Dubai..please please please post ASAP plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

sugar said...

um manaf yalla 7aram 3alaich!!! ma 9arat 1 at night!!! chena kubar rasich 3alaina:P sha7lailich awal kelyoum taktibeen 1 aw 2 posts!!!

sugar said...

um manaf yalla 7aram 3alaich!!! ma 9arat 1 at night!!! chena kubar rasich 3alaina:P sha7lailich awal kelyoum taktibeen 1 aw 2 posts!!!

Zaina said...

Walahnaa 3alaa manaf :*

Anonymous said...

la t7enooon the girl might be sick aw shay,
bs i do miss manaf ba3rf sh9ar 3alaaih ;/ i hope ur ok though

Anonymous said...

la t7enooon the girl might be sick aw shay,
bs i do miss manaf ba3rf sh9ar 3alaaih ;/ i hope ur ok though

ilona said...

is this the end? hopefully not:)
i love your writting. 1 simple little request, less arabic plzzzz.. im a non arabic speaker, a long distance fan.

shoosh said...

ashwa she didnt tell him..!! chan guilt trip!
how did he die exactly?? and i really want to know what happened to her between the past post and this one the time in between?? o min kan the random phone call when she was at the barbecue?

mimi said...

wee takser il 5a6er .. wa3laya 3aliha

falsepretences said...

loving the blog! check out mine for something more explicit!
http://pseudoslutcuzoflove.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

yaaaaaaaalla meta tnzleen yeded;(!! 7ada sarle muuuuuuuuda kelyum achyek plzplz post;*
w.

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