Sunday, March 22, 2009

30: Undeniable Truths Hurt

It has come to my attention that some people (especially Jam3iya) are still za3laneen 3alay fa gelt ba7e6likom this short post 3ashan aratheeekom...did it work?!


Zeina didn’t know how long she had been in the balcony but the only thing that brought her back to reality was the clicking of the front door as it shut behind Manaf. She froze not knowing what to do, the news she had received a while ago still hadn’t registered with her and she still hadn’t thought of what to do or what to say to him.

“Zeina?” Manaf’s voice called out to her from the bedroom where he had gone to look for her. Zeina emerged from the balcony still in her pajamas, her hair a mess and looked at her husband. His tall stature, his broad chest, his much shorter hair…she stared at his eyes trying to look for the man she once knew. The same man that had swept her off of her feet that day at the university when she had accidently stumbled upon him. The same man that held her hand while they dropped from the highest point Zeina had ever been on. He didn’t seem to be there.

Replacing him was a man with dark circles under his eyes that Zeina had thought once to be from all the work but wasn’t sure anymore. The new man in front of Zeina looked over her very much unlike the old one, it was as if he acknowledged her body and face in front of him but didn’t stare too long at it enough to let them register in his mind. He swept through her and her words quite often now and Zeina was beginning to understand why. Her husband, her Manaf, had a secret; one that was bound to reveal itself if he looked at her for too long, if he hugged her too tightly, if he spoke to hear more regularly.

Manaf was pushing himself away from her in order to hide.

“Ah there you are” Manaf said finally noticing her walking in from the balcony, “fakartay sheno tabeen ghada?” He asked flipping through papers in his hand a wrinkle forming on his forehead. The same wrinkle Zeina had seen a million times since she had arrived in New York but had always blamed on work. Zeina didn’t speak as she stood there staring at him wondering what the right words to say were.

“Shfeech?” Manaf asked putting down the papers and staring at her with worry in his eyes. Tears formed at the corners of Zeina’s eyes but she held them back.

“Tell me.” She whispered.

Manaf’s face fell as he took in the seriousness of Zeina’s expression; he knew she was talking about something solemn.

“Tell you what?” He tried feebly, still holding on to the glimmer of hope that Zeina hadn’t found out.

“…What the doctor said” She continued. It was here that Manaf’s gaze fell to the floor and for the next several minutes refused to look up. Zeina took a step forward and stood inches from his face.

“Manaf…look at me! And tell me!” She snapped at him her voice refusing to quiver.

“Shlon 3araftay?” He asked her.

“Not by you…”

Manaf continued to be quiet for a few seconds before he gave Zeina his back and walked into the bedroom. Dumbfounded Zeina froze in her spot not knowing if she should follow him or not. Finally her feet began to work and they made their way into the bedroom but Manaf wasn’t there; looking around she heard the sound of the showerhead in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him, a sea of emotions crashing inside of her. She still hadn’t managed to distinguish what the strongest emotion inside of her was. Was it anger? Hurt? Or was it mind blowing, earth shattering fear?

Was she going to be left alone, without Manaf? A world with a crabby, stressed, busy Manaf was one that was a million times better than one without him completely. It was a thought she was not willing to explore just yet because she knew that once she began to consider this world, she would enter a dark abyss that she was not likely to ever escape.

Minutes later Manaf came out of the bathroom and slightly taken aback by Zeina’s position sitting firmly and stubbornly in front of him, he froze.

“Meta kent nawi etgooly?” She whispered.

“I just found out Zeina” He replied.

“Shlon ya3ni? Eshdarak? Shlon mata7acha?!” Her voice began to rise uncontrollably. Manaf walked towards her and sat down next to her on the bed and for the first time in weeks stared right at her and held her gaze unwaveringly.

“I couldn’t tell you” He whispered still not looking away.

“What? Why?” Her strong calm voice began quivering as the tears that would undoubtedly make their way began to form behind her eyes.

“Shagoolich? Khalaitich etwagfeen derastich, sa7abtich min ahalich, ga6aitich ib deera ibroo7ich, majabaltich wela 7atan shift ishlonich feeha, o akher shay ayeech wagoolich I might be dying o because of me ra7 et9eereen a widow?!”

“DON’T SAY THAT” Zeina screamed the tears, this time of anger, flowed freely… “you can’t say that!” She whimpered grabbing his arm.

“Zeina 7abeebti…” he began to speak then stopped and looked down, taking her hands off of his arm and kissing them gently. He then looked back up for a brief second, enough for Zeina to see the tears forming inside his eyes, then got up and in two swift strides walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Zeina marched after him violently wiping the tears that were pouring across her face. She caught up with Manaf on the balcony and stared at him as he gave her his back.

“Manaf it’s not that bad 9a7? People get cured all the time…a9lan 9ar shay 3adi…we shouldn’t even worry” Zeina rambled half to fill the silence and the other half to convince herself.

“You’re right. Eli Allah katba be9eer Zeina whether I’m sick or not..” He turned around, the tears now gone from his eyes. He walked up to Zeina and grabbed her firmly from her face, “Zayoon, I am so sorry you had to deal with this o inich you got stuck with insan mithli ana…bes atkhayal il ta3ab ili I already put you through at the possibility of putting you through more and it kills me wala!”

Suddenly all the tears that had been forming in Zeina’s eyes disappeared as a wave of anger washed over her, “enta ma geltli 3ashan 3abalik I can’t handle it?” She said slowly, “3abalik when I find out banhar o babchi o ra7 at3ab?” Her voice slowly began to rise, “la, don’t you dare let me take the easy way out. Ra7 etwareeni every single test you did o ra7 aroo7 ma3ak every single appointment you have o you’re going to fight this, because qa9bin 3alaik you get better! Fahem?!” Her voice had risen to screams at the end of her sentence and she realized that she was holding on to Manaf with all of her strength.

“Enshallah” Manaf whispered before kissing her forehead.

He led Zeina inside and sat her down on the couch before going into the bedroom and coming back out with a stack of folders and envelopes.

“f7oo9atik?” Zeina asked quietly, her heart beating severely.

Manaf nodded and sat down next to her extending his arm towards her. Just as Zeina grasped the folders and pulled them into her lap Manaf’s hand touched hers and she looked up.

“Zayoon. Please help me” He whispered.


M said...

ya galby :(

Gutter Flower said...

waaaaaaaay 7abeeeebiiiiiii ba9eeeeeeeeee7! ='(

In My Closet said...

awwwwwwww 7ayateeeee.....!!!!

Exquisite:* said...

7abeeebyy! I had tears in my eyes;/ pls dnt let him die!

Dazzlin said...

omg i had tears in my eyes b3d..he has to live thru this they need each other ...

Anonymous said...

manaf cant die plzzz :(

Silhouette Crime said...

waaa ya gaaalbyyy!!


Anonymous said...

Ana layl7een za3laaanaa!!! Post soon

*Bella said...

Nooo pleaase *_*
My heaart is shattered in a million pieces !

Anonymous said...

pls pls pls post!!!!!!! i cant sleep... i need to know whats gonna happen!!!;' plssss!!!

Cupid ;* said...

maskeen please don't let him die:/ i like manaf, i want manaf:(

Wa7da Qabiya said...

Waaaaaaaay! Geminis are not suppose to get along with Scorpios, is this real?

zuz said...

awwww:'( um manaaaf u had me in this one:( , i feel sorry for el menfy;****

Um Mit3ib said...

sim3ene 3ad
kalamen yosilich weta3adach

in mat
i know where ur house is... w bagol 7ag kilman.. w matlomen ela nafsich

hatha ana gilt

Fiona Person said...

3n 5erha zaina shino gasya rayilha jidamha oo he mite be dying oo itkalma this cold =/

the last line killed me =(

LOOL @ um mit3ib :P

Starlight<3 said...

Awh, omg this is so sad :(

I hope Manaf is going to be okay,

Zeina! Fight for him no matter what!

Post soon,


Jam3iiya(L) said...



al7een.. jad jad ive never cried when i read something, i barely cry(when its not something v. personal)..i dont cry in movies, books.... bas i had tears in my eyes as a read this.. your writing hun, mashalla, mashalla, 3ajeeb!

oo and ana rathya rathya!! far7ana oo 6ayra min il fara7! ;D

al7eeeen... shrayiich you adorn your blog with another post?? la2..la2.. adrii 7adii 6ama3a! bas shasawii ma ashbaa3!! ;p

ya36eech il 3afya;**

Mu.Sij said...

7ayatii manaf ;/ alla yashfeek:(

Anonymous said...

aHhhhhh... HELP HIM!!!!!!! iLoveU MANAAAF ;\ !! alla ywareech el 3afya zeinaa ;*:*:**: !!


fatima said...

whyy whhhhy manaf??


3anooda said...

ya galby

Anonymous said...

oo chaaaaaaaan emoot oo she discovers she's pregnant :P sorry, i always do this ib awgat ma tesma7 ilwa7id enakit *bangs herself on the head with a 3ajeen roller*
-um fahad

Anonymous said...

whens ur next post? im dieng to here the rest of this!!

Mhm said...

Omg... 97t...
please make him better..

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but are you just gonna keep on disappearing? Lai meta inshala?

CuteandCuddly said...


Anonymous said...

Oh My Goddd
My heaaaart ...
I also has tears in my eyes, w i was in shockkkk
Pleaaaaase post the next one .. please please pleaaase
w mashallah 3ala your writing skills !!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...



*S.W ~ said...

This has got to be one of the best blogs i have ever read !
Mashaaallah 3aleich ... Keep on going, w I'm waiting for the next post ! :D

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! MANAF 7aram, he cnt have cancer......

its been a month since your last post!!!!

We love your blog and are dying to read the next post!!!!

when will the torture end....

plzzzz write a new post :D

StruckByCupid said...

Omg miskeen Manaf! :O
Please!!! Next Post! :D
I can not wait any longer...!

Queen Bee said...

Um-Manaf;( At least a short part;\ Do you know how much I LOVE ur story? pleeeeaase at least a short one;\

Anonymous said...

I hate it when bloggers start stories then stop them midway.
What the point? Why bother if you're going to leave everyone waiting for the next part. It's so annoying and such a piss off.

Anonymous said...

Waiting for ur next post

Anonymous said...

When exactly are we going to see part 31 ??
We've been waiting for SO LONG !!!!

Please post soon :( !!

*S.W ~ said...

Come Onnn
This is like torture :P
PLEASE post something, anything ... even if it's a paragraph .. i just NEED something here, please .. pretty pretty pretttty please? I'm begging here..

Anonymous said...

I just started reading your blog yesterday, and i finished all thirty posts just now! i can not believe you haven't posted in two months and i feel sooooo bad for the ppl who have been for all this long time..PLEASE post soon..btw..i love your writing style..its simply AMAZING!

Anonymous said...

Kindle My Heart said...


lulu said...

did she close her blog wla shaii?:S cuz mo ma38oola it6awil hl kithr plz anyone i need ur help:( abee a3arf il writer WAINHAA??

Anonymous said...

3;* said...

WAAINICH ?! please please post your blog ! its been over like 2 months ! yalaa 3ad laish chithe your torturing us ?! whats the point of doing a blog a9lan ?! did you forget your readers ?! pleaseee post episode 31 !

Anonymous said...

Honey you are missed, I hope you get back to us here in the blogsphere.
Love you

Anonymous said...

where are you please post tara we are waiting on you

Hearts Charm said...

I know u must be busy and all cause u havent posted for about 5 months..but i hope u do come back and finish this story..cause i bet all ur readers miss you..cause i know i do :)
and I'd really appreciate it if you check out my blog/new story on this website:

Thanx ;*

Anonymous said...

i started reading just recently .. is it gonna go on ,, wallah aba a3arf shu bystwiii ,,,, come back :(

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Anonymous said...

Well I to but I dream the post should prepare more info then it has.

Anonymous said...

Today is my lucky day :)
Apple is giving review copies of iPad to 100 lucky person. Go to and apply for it.

Anonymous said...

Damn I was going to buy a new Hummer in late 2012 and drive around the country for a vacation, Now I am going to have to shave my head and join the Hari.s, Muslims, Jews, Jehovah s, Mormons, Christians, and a few other wing nut groups just to cover all my bases.
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Anonymous said...

Heey, i missss your storyy! pleasee post soon its been almost a yeaar :(

Anonymous said...

Laaaaa2 :(
waay yaksr il kha6r

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Anonymous said...

Ohmygod 7aram manaf :(
Plz post my god its been 2 years :OOO
Please post we all wanna know whats gonna happen :(
Tara lat 5aleni ay 3ndch el kwait !!!
Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post !!!!!

Anonymous said...

La2 please you need to post just one more post just one more i fell inlove with ur story oo 7ade ta3alagt ooo ur the best blog iv red oo i red soo many blogs by far ur the best ! Please post soon and btw its been 3 years and 3 months and 17 days till u last posted the stroy

Anonymous said...

PLEASE POST. It's 2012 and people are still reading your story. this is how good u are. please I beg you.


Anonymous said...

Miss you so much :( please post

Anonymous said...

Hi ... :( miss you um manaf